My First Post

november 011

 

I lob myself into the blogging arena after flicking the switch on a treacherous ride with three devious bedfellows. Self-doubt, be-perfect and what-will-they-think. Enough. I won’t have them sleuth my creative quest any longer. Or breathe rancid death breath on my page of verve. No, my writing will not be flawless, nor lauded by all. It will choke at times and chug an offbeat tune. And that’s just fine. Simply breath-sucking perfect. It will be sufficient that I have been, that my fingers tap. I-think-I-can, I-think-I-can.  With relief and audacity I claim my space and lay down my pulse among writers who dare to share, because we can, because we are hardwired to connect. Because we fill the world with thought and bridge synapses to join the dots of our humanity. I write.

I release the perfection stick of swish style and impeccable lines of meaning. It may just be me oft trotting out my own faulty page of therapy to myself and the faithful. But it will be shared. So mercifully, I hit the wall, and walk through. My foray here will be perfectly blemished, just like me and the world in which I comfortably and uncomfortably reside. All I offer is MY truth of the moment, be it thin perception. But my creation will shout out from the page “look at me, I’m here! I belong!” And that is perfect.

Dr Brene Brown cracks “perfect” wide open. “I call perfectionism the 20-ton shield. We carry it around thinking it’s going to protect us from being hurt. But it protects us from being seen.” The University of Houston professor, a researcher of vulnerability, worthiness, shame and courage, identifies “wholehearted people” as having the courage to be imperfect, the compassion to be kind to themselves and the ability to let go of the idea of who they are “supposed to be”.

“We are by our very nature imperfect, but that…is what makes us human. The ability to allow ourselves to be imperfect and vulnerable…is the very thing that can open our world up to the possibility of deeper connections and more meaningful engagement with others…Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy and creativity.”

In her book Lean In, Facebook CEO, Sheryl Sandberg champions us to push forward. She tackles the anxieties and preconceptions that stop women reaching the top and asks simply, “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” She has a Tumblr page dedicated to this question. Watch women from New York respond in this clip: http://youtu.be/bAxQXZbhyvM 

Me, I fear that I may never do this dance again, take the waltz of words that once was my profession, before being buried under life’s clutter, to live only in my head. No matter what, I owe it to dearest me. So here I go, “daring greatly”, nudging my shy self bravely into the light, to share my bit of life’s tango we take on different ends of the dance floor, but together. I will shine my beam as far as it will go, and if it’s only at my toes, I’ll be content. If it’s at yours, inspiring a tap, or tiny frisson of feeling akin or alive, then I’ll be tickled, for sure. HELLO WORLD!